Swinging Lifestyle Etiquette


Written by SwingersHelp.com.


Your teachers probably never taught you the proper etiquette when it comes to having sexy time with another person’s partner. We don’t know why they skipped this very important lesson in life, but it’s time we rectified that mistake. Here are some tried-and-true etiquette lessons to help you minimize your embarrassment and increase your fun.

When meeting fresh faces…

Engage both people when meeting a couple. You want to show that you respect both of them, no matter what naughty thing is running through your mind about one of them. Showing respect now, is your way of showing that you can be trusted to respect their rules and boundaries later on in the bedroom. If you are at a swinger-only event, you can greet with a cozy hug and a light kiss. In more vanilla settings, you’ll probably want to stick to handshakes.

 How to approach a new couple…

Usually, swingers will have the ladies approach each other to start the conversation. Yes, guys can make the first contact – just remember to engage the man as well as the lady. Too many guys think they are in a bar trying to pick up single women, and that attitude just doesn’t work in the lifestyle. Be very careful that you don’t accidentally come across as an aggressive male, unless you like rejection and getting kicked out.

Be polite and show respect to both people in the couple. Compliment them on something and then ask them an open-ended question. If they are in a group talking with others, wait for a lull in the conversation. Apologize for interrupting and ask if it is a private conversation or if you can join. Then quickly compliment them. Everyone loves compliments, so give freely!

When attending a free party…

Bring a present for your hosts and make sure to seek them out when first arriving. It takes a lot of work to arrange a party, so be thoughtful and bring them a bottle of wine or sexy lube along with your own booze (if it is a BYOB party). It’s hard to say which gift they’d like best, but they’ll appreciate the thought behind the gesture!

When attending a paid party…

Do your best to avoid last minute no-shows. Swinger events often sell out and being a no-show prevents another couple from being able to attend. Be a respectful attendee. Make sure to tip the servers. There are many costs involved in running a swinger party. Organizers usually do this as a service for the community, since the profit margins are often razor thin. Don’t ruin a good thing: be respectful of the venue and the organizers.

When getting a hotel room…

Wait as long as you can before booking a hotel room since swingers can be flaky and cancel at the last minute. Expect to pay for the room yourself. It is polite for the other people to offer to split expenses, but often they are so excited about sexy time that they forget. If you are the other couple, make sure to contribute towards the room. If your play partners won’t take money then bring some snacks and drinks to share.




“Swinging Lifestyle Etiquette.” Swingers Help, swingershelp.com/lifestyle-etiquette/.

Three Steps To Get Your Partner Into Swinging

Written by Michael Andrews

Unfortunately swinging, or involving other people in your sexual intimacy as a couple, fills many people with fears and concerns. However, the truth is that swinging – when done the right way – can not only be enormous fun; it can also bring a couple much closer together in the intimacy of their relationship. This may seem counterintuitive but it is a clue on how to get your lover interested in polyamory if they’re against the idea.

3 Simple Steps To Introduce Your Lover To The Idea Of Swinging

The three steps described here have proven to be very powerful in getting reluctant spouses to be more open to the idea. You’ll see that it is nothing to do with tricking or coercing your spouse into trying it (that doesn’t work and using that approach will usually harm rather than help your relationship). It is really about creating a foundation and a ‘sexual environment’ in your relationship which can make polyamory a very natural outcome. The benefits of this approach are not only that you get to have some great fun swinging, but it strengthens the intimacy in your relationship as well.

Step 1: It’s About You Relationship

The first step is to realize that successful swinging is all about the two of YOU and your relationship. It is not to fill in any gaps in your sex life. In fact, it makes a great sex life even better; it does not make a bad sex life good. So if you are going to try to introduce your lover to polyamory, you should concentrate on improving the sex life between the two of you first.

Step 2: Focus On Your Significant Other

This leads us to the second step, which is to really focus on your significant other. Your goal here is to make them feel loved and adored, that they are the sexiest person in the world to you. You would never do anything to hurt them intentionally and they are certainly the best lover you could possibly ever imagine having. Some people find this difficult, especially if they have been in their relationship for some time. You may feel your attraction has waned for your lover.

You might think your sex life has become boring, which is why you want to add some variety with polyamory anyway. You need to turn this around. Try new things. Even do some of the things you used to do when you first got together. Anything becomes stale if no effort is put into it, and your sex life is just the same.

Step 3: Reinforce Your Attraction To Your Lover

The third step is simply to keep reinforcing you attraction for your lover and building the trust between you. The more trust you can create by making your significant other feel safe to be themselves and express themselves fully, the more they will know that your desire for more sexual adventure is not about ‘replacing’ them with someone else.

Many couples feel that getting involved with threesomes will cause problems in their relationship such as jealousy. However, if you follow the above steps you will find that these problems just don’t arise. However, it is very important to keep the relationship between you as the most important thing; you just happen to involve other people from time to time to experience things you can’t do with just the two of you.

If you would like to become a swinger and your lover isn’t interested start with the approach above. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results!

Happy swinging!


Andrews, Michael. “Swinging: Three Essential Steps To Get Your Partner Into Swinging.” Love & Sex Answers, 24 Jan. 2018, loveandsexanswers.com/swinging-three-essential-steps-to-get-your-partner-into-swinging/.


Written by ISABELLA FRAPPIER on SexWithEmily.com


This one is a lot of fun, can be tailored to your own kinky comfort level, and only requires a piece of paper, a pen, and a die to play. If you don’t have any dice, you can easily make one with an eraser and a pen, or even a little piece of wood.

First, sit down with your sex partner and write a list of 6 of your favorite body parts to touch. You might want to include genitals, thighs, nipples, buttocks, anything you like. Try including some of the lesser-known erogenous zones like the earlobes, the nape of the neck, really just anywhere you find arousing. Assign each body part a number from 1-6.

Next, write down a list of 6 sexual actions you find erotic. Some great options are spank, bite, lick, suck, twist, pinch, but use whatever floats your boat. Assign each action a number from 1-6.

Then, you take turns rolling the dice one at a time. The first roll determines action, the second roll determines where it takes place. For example, lick their nipple, bite my thighs, etc.

Sometimes they are pretty impossible tasks, like spank my earlobes. You can give it a go if you’re both game, or just skip it and roll again. You’ve been spared.

Each person takes turns rolling the die and acting out its instructions on their partners until you can no longer resist going to town on each other.



This is a really fun one for those who enjoy more physical games, impact play and/or discipline. For this game, all you need is one impact item, preferably a long(ish) one. If you have a cropthat’s perfect. If you don’t have one, do not fret, you’ve still got options.

Try: a spatula, a wooden spoon, a ruler (metal rulers are great but only if you’re experienced), a piece of wooden dowel, a fly swatter, or even the back of a hairbrush works in a pinch. But I think the longer the better for this game.

This game is simple and fun. Instruct your ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ partner to get on all fours, and they must follow the impact tool wherever it goes. You can ask them to try and keep their nose on it if you’d like to make it really challenging (or you just enjoy seeing them lose).


Start by guiding your ‘bottom’ around the bed with the tool until they get the hang of it. Then move around the bedroom, and you can even head around the whole house if they are up for it. Set up an obstacle course for them if you’re feeling particularly deviant. If you want to be sweet, have them cushion their knees with some knee-high socks, leg warmers, or even just a top tied around each knee. Or be mean and let them get sore. If you both enjoy humiliation play, make it even more challenging for them by using lube. Using a high-quality silicone-based one like Uberlube, give them a genital massage to relax their mind and body. Then rub some on their knees and watch them slip and slide around while they try to follow your impact tool.

If they can’t keep up with your impact tool, you get to strike them with it. Make sure to pepper in lots of rewards when they do keep up. Words of affirmation like “good girl/pet/boy” and sensual touches usually do the trick.


If you identify as a switch, or you’re not sure where you fall on the Dominant/submissive or Top/bottom spectrum, this game is for you. All you need for this one is a coin to toss, and something to use as a timer.

Flip the coin and call it. Whoever wins, goes first. The winner flips the coin, and if it lands on ‘heads’ you get to be the ‘Top’ and in charge. If it lands on ‘tails’ you get to be the ‘bottom’, and do whatever the ‘Top’ says, obviously.


Set the timer for 2 minutes, and for those two minutes, the ‘Top’ gets to boss around the ‘bottom’ to their heart’s content. They are your love slave. This game works best if you know each other’s kinks, boundaries and turn ones, so doing this questionnaire beforehand is a great idea.

Keep flipping the coin and switching back and forth until you can’t take it anymore and have to ravish one another.



This is an excellent one for exploring the psychological side of Dominance/submission play. You don’t need any items for this one, but if you’d like to add in impact playyou can use any impact tools you’d like. Read ‘follow the crop’ above for homemade item suggestions, or just let your imagination run wild.

This game is deceptively simple, but simply deviant. The premise is just that if your ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ want to receive pleasure, they must stay still. The second they move, the ‘Dominant’ or ‘Top’ stops pleasuring them. If you’re exploring impact play, you can punish the bottom for moving. Otherwise, you can use verbal punishments, or simply the lack of pleasure as a punishment.


If you like switching, then when the ‘bottom’ moves, they can switch roles and take a turn at being the ‘Top’ and giving pleasure. Switch back every time someone moves.

However, some partners don’t want to switch and prefer instead to stay in one fixed role. For these couples, when the ‘bottom’ moves, they can service the ‘Top’ until the ‘Top’ determines they have earned pleasure again.

This game is the definition of exquisite torture.



This is another simple and delightful one. It’s particularly good for people who like a little humiliation, degradation, teasing, or even just playfulness. As with all of these games, you can tailor it to suit your specific comfort levels with kink.

All you need for this game is a blindfold and someone to play with. You can buy a nice blindfoldor simply use a necktie or silky scarf. To begin, blindfold the ‘submissive’ or ‘bottom’ partner while they are seated comfortably on the bed. You’ll remain off the bed, for now. You can play this game anywhere, but the bed is a fun place to start. Feel free to have your ‘bottom’ dress in a way that is aesthetically pleasing to you, perhaps in some sexy lingerie.

You can use any body part for this game, but I think it’s the most fun to play with your genitals. Simply take out your genitals, and while standing by the edge of the bed, ask your blindfolded partner to find them. Start by saying, for example, “where’s my pussy?”. Once you’ve spoken, they can crawl around the bed looking for it. Make sure they crawl slowly to be safe, and remind them to reach for the corners with their hands. We don’t want this game to turn into a trip to the emergency room.


Here’s the part that makes it tricky. Once the ‘bottom’ starts crawling for it, the ‘Top’ has to freeze. When the ‘bottom’ reaches the edge of the bed with their hands, they open their mouth and try to find your genitals. If they can’t find it from where they are, you say “nope” (or dumb/bad/silly submissive) and you can move, asking the question again.

If your ‘bottom’ really enjoys humiliation, the Top’ should lean into the verbal teasing and degradation. Ridicule them for not being able to find it, or for being so thirsty for it in the first place, whatever floats their boat.

Repeat the game until they find your genitals. Once they do, their reward is they get to pleasure you with their mouth. Lucky them.



For a fun and travel-friendly game, you’ve got to indulge in the Moxie by WeVibe. It’s a discreet but powerful vibrator, that attaches into place in any pair of panties or briefs with a magnet. You can control it remotely via a phone app, even if you’re at the office, or on the other side of the world.

Have your partner wear it on your next date, and turn it on and off as you see fit. Tantalize and torment them, while to the outsider it would look like you’re just sending an email or checking the traffic. The look on their face as they are driven to the brink of climax in public will be worth it, trust me. To get your engine running, check out our latest piece of Sex with Emily erotica.



FRAPPIER, ISABELLA. “5 BDSM Games To Spice Up Your Sex Life Tonight – Top Story, Just the Tip.” Sex With Emily, 6 June 2019, sexwithemily.com/5-bdsm-games/.

Arranging Swinger Threesomes


Written by SwingersHelp.com.


A threesome could be one of the best sexual experiences you can have as a couple. Ladies, imagine enjoying the attention of two men in the most intimate moments – that is very empowering & enjoyable.  As a man, you’ll have a chance to show the world – or at least another guy – how lucky you are to share the bed every night with that wonderful woman.  But how to have an MMF threesome? Where to start? What is acceptable, and what is not? These are a few daunting questions you might ask before embarking in the adventure.  Buckle up & keep reading because we are going to demystify threesomes and show you how to enjoy it while protecting the relationship with your special someone!

First let’s clarify that not all threesomes are the same. You can have two men & one lady or you can have one man & two ladies.  To further confuse it there is also the question of bisexual play.  Will the two ladies or two men play with each other?  To avoid confusion, swingers like to use letter combinations to distinguish the types of threesomes:
MMF – Two men & one lady, with bisexual play implied because the MM letters are connected.
MFM – Two men & one lady, with no bisexual play implied because the F letter is in the middle.
FFM – Two men & one lady, with bisexual play implied because the FF letters are connected.
FMF – Two ladies & one man , with no bisexual play implied because the M letter is in the middle.
Of course many people don’t pay attention to the letter placement and assume all threesomes are the same thing.  Be wise and always double check with your play partners with how they feel about bisexual play.

Is A MMF Threesome For You?

Perhaps this is the first question to ask yourself before arranging an encounter. Women considering such an adventure must understand that being touched, kissed, and penetrated by two cocks at the same time can lead to sensory overload if you’re not mentally prepared for the moment.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the threesome; doing it with two guys can be one of the best sexual experiences you’ve ever had.

Men should understand that there is no room for jealousy and homophobia in such an experience. If you have those issues then a MMF threesome is not the best idea for you.  Your lady will be kissed, touched, and banged by another man. Preparing yourself for the scenario is important, as seeing all this in real life could be different than imagined.

It is also essential to understand that you will also touch another man. Even if this was a MFM threesome and you’re straight, you might find yourself in positions where your sword will come in contact with the other man’s sword, especially if she decides to give you both a tandem blowjob or if she wants to experience double penetration.  When you have three bodies touching at the same time there is just a good bit of incidental contact.

You should talk with your partner and detail what you both want to happen and what you do not want to happen.  Talk about what rules & boundaries you should use and agree to it.  Search Google for MMF sex positions so you can find out what would work best for you.  Surprises are good for birthday parties but not so much for threesomes if you want to best protect your relationship.

Close up low angle first person view photo of two people in love pair romance she her sitting on he him his handsome arms on slim thin beautiful belly holding bust in hand want to continue



Source: https://swingershelp.com/mmf-swinger-threesomes/

“Arranging Swinger Threesomes.” Swingers Help, swingershelp.com/mmf-swinger-threesomes/.

Finding The ‘Right Couple’ To Try Swinging With

Written by 

Would you like to experiment with the swinging lifestyle? Once you have made the decision to do it, the biggest hurdle to overcome is to find another suitable couple to play with. Fortunately you can benefit from the experience of others by knowing the best way to find other people. Here are some ideas to help you.

It Doesn’t Always Happen Right Away

Firstly, be aware it can be a lengthy process. You may end up chatting with a large number of couples before you find one you really click with. This is hardly surprising; it is difficult enough to find two people who are attracted to each other, but to find four who all share some chemistry can seem nigh-on impossible.

You will meet couples who may be interested in you but who for whatever reason you don’t feel particularly attracted to. Don’t be concerned about this – it really does go with the territory.

Also, do not despair or be in a rush to start having sex once you decide you and your partner would like to be swingers. Many people decide to play with the first people who come along and find that the experience is not really very pleasurable. In fact it can be a disaster.

Don’t Be Too Picky

At the other extreme don’t be picky to the point that you never let it happen. If you spend a bit of time with a couple (say having a drink or a meal) with no pressure or expectations on either side you may feel the attraction grow. If your initial impression isn’t totally negative than allow some time to get to know them a little better.

All this said, what is the best way to meet another couple for swinging? There are in fact three ways.

People You Know

The first way is to consider people you already know. You may think your friends would not be interested in swinging, but swinging is surprisingly widespread. Do not discount your friends! Think about who you already know who you find attractive.

Invite them for dinner and drop a few subtle hints. Lead the conversation in a sexual direction and see their reaction. Of course if you get a negative reaction you know to back off as you don’t want to destroy your friendship.

Online Dating Websites

The second way and probably the most widespread is to meet couples through an online swingers website. There are a number of good ones which have large numbers of couples (and singles) who are swingers and are looking to meet other likeminded people.

You can get a very good idea about them from the information they post online, including their interests and physical characteristics. Usually they will (or should) put up some photographs so you can get a better idea of their body shape and sizes.

To do this you should also put up your own details by creating a profile. This will allow other couples to contact you if they are interested. The first step will be to have some brief message exchange to see if there is some connection.

If it all looks promising, you should meet as soon as possible. This should only be for the purposes of checking each other out. Unless you are not fussy at all you will find this an essential step as despite all the online conversation in the world you will not know if you all click until you meet each other.

A Swingers’ Party

The third way you can meet other swingers is to go to a swingers party. Getting invited to these can be quite tricky. However, swingers websites often list parties. Choose one in your area and put your name down as being interested. If you go to a swingers party remember the golden rule amongst all swingers is “no means no.”

You will not be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to, and no one will mind if you decline an invitation to play. Swingers parties are a very good way to meet a number of couples all at once to see if you feel a special connection with any of them.

Meeting another couple to swing with can be a bit tricky. However it is worth the effort because when you find the right couple you will definitely have a lot of fun.


Happy Swinging!


Andrews, Michael. “Swinging Tips: Finding The ‘Right Couple’ To Try Swinging With.” Love & Sex Answers, 24 Jan. 2018, loveandsexanswers.com/finding-the-right-couple-to-try-swinging-with/.