Written by Madison Price on SexWithEmily.com
Have you ever heard that saying “Sex is like pizza – Even when it’s bad, it’s still good”?
While this may be true for most, there is one exception to that rule: Oral sex.
When done correctly, a blow job can be the perfect weapon to have in your arsenal.
It’s hot, it’s intimate and has the power to catapult you to new realms of ‘dream girl’ territory. When done poorly, however… A blow job can go from a delicious meal to one of those sad cold Lunchables pizzas. Vaguely reminiscent of the real thing, but still totally dissatisfying.
So how do you make sure that you’re serving up some deep dish, Chicago-style oral sex?
If you’re ready to take your oral sex skills to the next level, and give your guy a BJ that will blow his mind (among other things), here are some fun tricks to get you started…
1- PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT
Well for starters, nothing turns a guy on more than being able to see women enjoying themselves while giving head. Most men agree that enthusiasm is possibly the hottest thing a girl can bring into a BJ.
If you act like you’re sucking down cough medicine, icky faces and all, your dude may start to feel self-conscious or feel guilty. The more you seem to be enjoying it, the more he will enjoy it.
2- GET EXPERIMENTAL
Secondly, don’t be afraid to try new things down there! They say variety is the spice of life, and there is really nothing worse than a bland blow job. Although rhythm is extremely important, your moves should have some variation.
Mix things up by varying between slow sensual slurps, light quick licks, and the oh-so-popular head bobbing maneuver. Incorporate all tools at your disposal (hands, lips, tongue, cheeks, the occasional toy or two).
3- MAKE SOME NOISE
This goes back to tip one. For guys, one of the hottest things a girl can do during a BJ is to show how much she is actually enjoying it. If you cooked your dude a big fancy meal, all it takes is a few yummy noises to really make you feel appreciated, right? The same thing applies here.
Little “Mmms” and “Aaahhs” can really heighten the experience for your dude, and make him feel like you are not only okay with going down on him, but are actually into it.
That being said, overdo it and you run the risk of distracting him and killing the whole thing. Less is definitely more. Be cute and get into it, but try not to sound like a cannibal at a human meat buffet. Or do, if that’s his thing.
4- FEEL THE VIBRATIONS
There’s a big myth going around that vibrators are only for the ladies. Well, I am here to tell you to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX (Vagina.. Box.. Get it?) The fact is, the head of the penis has the same kind of nerve endings as the clitoris, meaning that your dude’s penis gets the same kind of enjoyment from vibrating accessories.
If you’re looking for a hands-free helper to spice up your next BJ, the Pivot by WeVibe can be a great addition to your already mind-blowing routine. Everything that makes it amazing during sex (the deep rumbles, the multiple vibration patterns, the erection-strengthening blood restriction) carries over for more pleasurable oral experiences.
Try picking a favorite rumbling pattern (I like the long deep rumbles, personally), and match your mouth and hand motions to the same rhythm!
5- HUMMERS AREN’T JUST CARS…
We’ve all heard of “Hummers”, that move where you hum while going down on a guy, which for some reason (okay, porn) were really popular in college. Hummers get a lot of positive word of mouth (haha) but I’ve never really found them to be THAT mind-blowing.
Like many porn-related sex acts, hummers are a cute idea in theory, but aren’t always as spectacular as we’ve been lead to believe.
If you really want to wow your guy next time you set up to go down, I recommend grabbing your favorite hand-held vibe (the Wish By WeVibe, for example). When you have him in your mouth, turn your vibe to the lowest setting and touch it to your cheek. Boom! With your mouth completely surrounding his manhood, he should be able to feel the vibrations more deeply. This magnifies the already great work your lips and tongue are doing.
Balls can actually be pretty intimidating for such small, sensitive creatures. The penis is easy. Most penises appreciate the same kinds of attention, we know what to do with penises. When it comes to the balls, on the other hand, proceed with caution. Why? Because no two sets are the same.
You might find yourself with one guy who really likes his balls to be tugged and batted around like a cat with a toy… But there is no guarantee that the next guy won’t have a hypersensitive, don’t-even-stroke-them situation. All balls are different, so I’d advise talking to your dude before you start manhandling (or licking) his family jewels.
Once you’ve got the green light, the best move that I have had success with involves cupping his balls while you’re going down on him. With one hand and your mouth working his penis, let the other hand gently cradle his danglers. If he doesn’t freak out immediately, try cupping them a little firmer. Hold them close to his body, but DO NOT squeeze just yet. Then, right before he is about to come, give them a tiny little squeeze. After all is done, and you’ve done the cleanup, ask him how he felt about your ball move, and proceed from there.
USE THE MAGIC TOUCH
When a guy is really getting into a good blow job, his whole body is super sensitive. This creates the perfect opportunity for you to do a little multi-tasking (It’s what we’re best at, right?). So while your mouth is doing work, don’t be afraid to let your hands roam into some neighboring areas.
The lower back/top of ass region is loaded with little nerves that, during arousal, will respond to even the slightest of caresses. If he is standing and you are on your knee, try lightly stroking the lowest part of his back to the top of his butt with your fingertips. If he starts to giggle and squirm, stop immediately, but be sure to save the spot in your memory for use later (tickle fights – have mercy!)
Another guy favorite: The ass squeeze! While in the same position (you on your knees, him standing) try squeezing his butt and bringing him deeper into your mouth. It shows him that you are in control, and feels pretty damn good too!
BE A STAR 69’ER
A lot of women tend to shy away from the infamous 69 position, and with good reason. Despite the porn-fueled popularity of this seemingly “win-win” set up, the fact is that 69 can be awkward. The positioning is uncomfortable, the angles are all wrong, and you are so busy holding yourself up that you lose the ability to try out all those awesome hand tricks you’ve been working on.
If you’re committed to mastering this sex act, which most guys LOVE by the way, then I’ve got a solution: Sideways 69!
Both of you lie on your sides, facing each other mouth-to-genitals. This variation gives you more flexibility, and definitely more balance, plus it leaves at least one hand free! Now you can both relax and focus on what’s really important: The pleasure.
PERFECT THE DEEP-THROAT
I’d like to preface this by saying that not all guys like/need the deep throat. Plus, those who do like it don’t need it all the time. Deep-throating is just one ride at the blow job theme park… It’s not necessarily the main attraction.
Mix it into your repertoire, but feel free to use other techniques as well. That being said, there are a few ways to master the deep throat, Just keep your mind (and your throat) open.
-Remember that you are in control. A lot of guys like to do the head push number, but on behalf of women everywhere, let me be clear. That does NOT fly (unless you have a ‘safe gesture’ planned in advance). So before you even start pleasuring him, ladies, let him know that his hands are free to roam but may not do any pushing of any kind. This way you can explore your own gag reflex without having to worry about a sneak attack, and go at your own pace.
-Relax. If the entire time you’re thinking “I’m gonna gag, I’m gonna gag”.. Guess what? Your throat is so tense, YOU’RE GOING TO GAG. Also, don’t worry about keeping your lips super tight around his penis while you’re going deep. If you let your lips fall open, you open up your throat a lot more! I know, you’re worried about getting drool everywhere. However, spit equals lube, and you can never have enough lubrication for a BJ.
-Find a good position. Don’t be afraid to experiment and move around until you find your deepthroat sweet spot!
If you really hate giving head, don’t like the taste, or are just looking for something fun to try, then I say bust out the BJ condiments!
- Hot outside? Bring a little ice into the fun! I know what you’re thinking and you’re right – Ice directly on his member is going to be WAY too intense. Instead, try putting an ice cube in your mouth and letting it half melt. Then go in for the oral pleasure – The hot & cold sensations happening in your mouth will feel incredible on his most sensitive area.
- Flavored lubricants can also be a fun way to spice up a blow job. Here’s a trick I’m currently obsessed with: Apply a tiny bit of your favorite tasty lube on to your lips like a lip gloss, then slowly slide your mouth up and down the shaft. Using the added lubrication, work your hands up and down the shaft while your mouth gently sucks the head! This full-service blow job will blow his mind, and the delicious taste is just for you.
THE FINAL & MOST IMPORTANT TIP
The most important tip I can leave you with is to HAVE FUN WITH IT! Despite the misleading name, blow jobs are meant to be playful and interactive.
Try these moves out together and check in with each other to see what you like, what you don’t like, and what you can’t believe you’ve tried before!