5 Reasons More Men Should Try Sex Toys

Written by SexWithEmily.com

Most people think that sex toys are just for women, but that is not the case! In fact, they can be an amazing addition to any man’s sexual arsenal. Whether you’re going solo or with a partner, toys can deepen your pleasure, increase your erection time, boost sexual satisfaction during partnered sex, and help you experience multiple orgasms.

Today, we are going to explore five key reasons why you should try out a new sex toy or two. Or four. Or more. Who’s counting?

Reason One: It’s Fun To Try New Things

Sure, sex is fun. Masturbation is great. We’re right there with you. But even if you have no complaints in these departments, variety is the spice of life. When it comes to sex, there is a whole world of different sensations and experiences to be enjoyed.

One of the first things you should be familiar with is lube! Super easy to purchase in person or online, it makes masturbation, hand jobs, and penetrative sex more fun for everyone! If you don’t feel ready to explore a Fleshlight yet, but you’d like to experience some new sensations during masturbation, try a Fleshskin with some Pjur water-based lube. This sleeve-only toy has the realistic feel of a Fleshlight, and you’re able to control the tightness and intensity for your perfect fit. Not only is this a fun new sensation to experience, it can also help you explore some different pleasure styles.

If you’d like to try a new sex toy with a partner, explore together with some restraints! They are a super flexible toy that require no previous skill or experience, just strap them on and have some fun. You could experiment with taking turns restraining your partner and having them restrain you. See what you both enjoyed, and you might even surprise yourselves.

Reason Two: It Can Increase Your Sexual Skills and Confidence

Learning what you like both physically and mentally during masturbation can improve your sexual intelligence and body awareness. Plus, this makes you a much better lover during partnered sex. You’ll feel more comfortable articulating your preferences to your partner if you’ve explored with yourself first.

A confident partner can be such a huge turn on for many people, so try using some sex toys on your own to boost your sexual self-esteem. If you’ve been curious about anal play, but nervous to try it for the first time with a partner, the Aneros Helix Syn can be a great place to start. Using sex toys can potentially increase the amount of time you can have penetrative sex before ejaculation with a partner.

Reason Three: They Can Be Your Sexual Wingmen

There is no need to be intimidated by sex toys, or hesitant to use them during partnered sex. In fact, they can be an amazing addition. Think of sex toys as your sexual wingmen, here to help you bring more pleasure to everyone! They can be a fun way to introduce some BDSM elements into your sex life, with floggers, ticklers, and hot candle wax all being fun introductions. You can also include a vast range of sensations into your bedroom by bringing in new sex toys.

A simple, classic cock ring such as the Plus One Ring not only provides delightful vibrations to the base of the penis, but also waves of clitoral stimulation to your partner. If you’d really like to treat yourself, the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo is the partnered toy bringing its revolutionary technology into your bedroom. The oscillations stimulate the penis, and can be controlled via the device itself, while the underside has vibrations that can be placed on the vulva, which can be controlled with a remote for convenience. If all of that feels a bit intimidating, don’t forget the little black dress of vibrators, the Magic Wand. With it’s simple design and powerful vibrations, it’s an incredible tool for partnered sex.

Reason Four: F*ck Gender Norms

There is no need to let outdated societal gender norms put a damper on your sex life. It can be really empowering to take charge of your pleasure. Enjoying certain types of sexual activities or toys doesn’t define your gender or sexual orientation, and shouldn’t restrict your pleasure.

Many men are curious about anal play, but nervous to try it out, and exploring your prostate by yourself can be a great place to start. WeVibe have an amazing vibrating butt plug called the Ditto, which is ideal for newcomers to anal. It is waterproof, rechargeable, and has a remote control for easy use. If you’d like to take your anal exploration further, Lelo has a fantastic prostate vibrator called the Loki Wave , which is the first to offer a ‘come-hither’ motion, as well as external massage to the prostate with a second motor. It’s waterproof, has 10 stimulation modes, and is an incredible tool for pleasure.

If you’re curious about prostate stimulation, but internal penetration is a little daunting, WeVibe also make a toy called Verge, which is a cock ring that externally massages the prostate. So what are you waiting for? Try some prostate stimulation today!

Reason Five: They Make Pleasure More Accessible

Last, but certainly not least, sex toys are powerful in their ability to make pleasure more accessible. Not every penis owner is able to achieve or maintain an erection, and it’s important that everyone be able to enjoy life and experience pleasure. With revolutionary tools like the Hot Octopuss 3 Pulse, penis owners are able to enjoy the oscillating technology even without an erection, and many are even able to experience orgasm! For people who have physical disabilities, sex toys can be wonderful tools for their sex lives. Just because someone has a disability, doesn’t mean that they can’t enjoy sex and pleasure, whether it is alone or with a partner. Tools like sex swings, harnesses, strap ons, and the Liberator’s wedges and ramps can provide support for different mobility and fatigue issues.


Source: http://sexwithemily.com/five-reasons-men-try-sex-toys/#more-27056

Mind Blowing Oral in 5 Minutes: The Kivin Method

Written by SexWithEmily.com

There’s a trendy new oral sex method that has many women singing from the rooftops.

It’s called The Kivin Method, and today we are going to teach you all the juicy details…


Both bloggers and sex therapists are all abuzz with this Kivin Method. Many are even claiming that it provides orgasms within 5-10 minutes for any vulva owner. We believe it’s important not to be goal-oriented about sex having to lead to orgasm, and that faster isn’t necessarily better. However, The Kivin Method claims to increase the intensity of orgasms, and enhance overall pleasure, and we are down to support that!

Even if you are in a great oral sex routine already, and consistently experiencing pleasure and orgasms, it’s good to be receptive to experiencing pleasure in different ways. Vulva owners have anatomy that is capable of multiple different types of orgasms and pleasure, so try something new today.

Every vulva owner is vastly different in what, when, and how they enjoy receiving oral sex. So it’s important to note that what floats one person’s boat isn’t always going to float another. Because of that, it’s crucial that you utilize lots of communication when giving or receiving oral sex.

Let your partner know you’d like to try a new technique with them, and ask if they are comfortable with that, and ask for verbal feedback during and after.


The Kivin Method has three key aspects to master that differ from the ‘traditional’ cunnilingus style; positioning, direction, and physical feedback. Let’s dive into each element so we can master the technique together.

Perfection Positioning

With ‘traditional cunnilingus positioning’, we usually see the giver in between the receiver’s legs, facing towards their partner. Their nose points towards the belly button and their chin towards the booty. Hopefully, you’re with me so far, because this is where it gets a little…sideways.

With this method, the giver actually lays perpendicular to their partner, at a 90-degree angle, making somewhat of a capital ‘T’ with their bodies. So instead of looking upwards at the clit, you’re looking at it sideways.

You can experiment with coming in from either side of your partner’s body. Because most vulva owners have one side of their clit that is more sensitive than the other, it’s a good idea to try both sides and ask them which was their fave.

You can tackle this positioning a couple of different ways. Choose what works best based on your physical comfort, as well as the receivers sensitivity preference. If the vulva owner enjoys being widely spread for maximum stimulation, suggest they pull their legs back for more intense stimulation. Some people prefer closed legs and the sensation of the labia massaging the sides of the clitoris. In that case, suggest they keep their legs down and open their legs enough for your tongue to get in and do its magic.

Delightful Directions

There are a few techniques to master with your hands for this move. With your left hand, place your index finger and thumb on either side of the clitoris to raise it and help keep it in place while you lick. Communicate verbally with your partner as to what finger positioning feels best for them, and adjust accordingly.

Some people who have tried this method claim that once the clitoris is aroused, they can feel two small bumps on either side of the clitoral hood, which feel like two small grains of rice. These are called “K points”. If you are able to feel them, sweep your tongue over the clitoral hood in between these two points.

Remember that the clitoral tissue swells when aroused, just as a penis does. So, if you’re unable to find them at first, stay curious and you might notice these bumps become more apparent during the experience. Of course, everyone’s genitals are unique, and some may not have detectable “K points”. Don’t worry too much if you can’t find them, it’s more important to listen to your partners verbal and physical feedback anyway.

Try a few different positions with your left hand, and remember that the changes your partner needs might be really subtle, so check with them and listen carefully to what feels good before you commit to one hand position. You may want to do a few licks during this time to help your partner determine what hand position feels best.

Tantalizing Tongue Work

Now that you’re in position, do some tongue warm-ups (just kidding…or am I?) and get licking! The trick with this snazzy move is that you’re licking horizontally (instead of the usual vertical direction) across the hood of the clit in a gentle up and down motion, much like you’d eat an ice cream cone. Delicious.

It’s crucial that you try a few different variants with your tongue to hone in on exactly what your partner likes before you get into a rhythm. The key with this method is to figure out the nuances that feel best on your partner and then STAY CONSISTENT. Don’t make me shout it out to the people in the back, listen up!

Frankly, this is usually pretty important to most vulva owners receiving any type of oral sex. Once you’re onto a good thing, stay with it. To figure out what works best, check out our clit touch styles.


The suggestion for your right hand with the Kivin method is to place gentle pressure on the perineum (sometimes known as the taint). The perineum is a pleasure barometer and noticing the involuntary muscle contractions and spasms of the receiver will help you hone in on what feels best. No words necessary.

Some people find pressure on their perineum uncomfortable. This can easily be adjusted by experimenting with inserting a finger (or two) into the vaginal canal, or gentle massage of the exterior or interior of the anus. Either of these should give you similar feedback, so explore what works best for you.

Physical feedback can also be assessed by observing visually. Look for involuntary muscle movements in your partner’s stomach muscles, as well as notice their breathing patterns.

Of course, these physical feedback cues can be great, but it’s really important to ask for and listen to verbal directions and feedback also.


So is this “revolutionary new technique” really all that new or revolutionary? Probably not, since people have been performing sideways cunnilingus for (presumably) thousands of years. But, being able to name a technique gives us important language to use in communicating with partners.

This method also has a few tricks that help provide some valuable feedback about your partner’s arousal.

It’s fun to explore new things in your sex life, and to learn subtle tips and tricks that can improve your sexual satisfaction and your partners. Plus it’s wonderful to have the concise language for communicating your preferences to sexual partners.


Source: http://sexwithemily.com/oral-kivin-method/

Avoiding Single Men Swinger Mistakes


Written by SwingersHelp.com

It’s uber hard being a single man in the swinging world. As much as its an amazing experience, it is also a huge challenge that takes a good amount of time and effort. If you are having trouble as a single man in the swinging lifestyle, you are not alone. The good news is that much of the challenge a single man faces is from overcoming his own mistakes. We are here to help educate you so you can be the best darn single man in the lifestyle and be desired by all your sexy local swingers.

Put real effort into your online profile.

The supply of single men is higher than the demand so your swing game needs to be stronger. Don’t just be one of the guys in the lazy crowd. Post good pictures of yourself. Make sure they give a good & accurate representation of your current self. Write an appealing description that shares your personality and shows you are not just some desperate, horny man.

Upgrade your photos.

Too many single men ruin their chances by using horrible pictures. What are the right type of pictures? Make sure they are recent, in focus, & speak to your personality. Show off your sexy eyes — don’t hide them behind sunglasses. Have a clean & attractive background. Don’t have a room filled with dirty clothes or bathroom stalls behind you when you are trying to convey sexiness in your pictures. Communicate that you take privacy seriously by having only yourself in the picture. Skip group pictures or pictures with your ex-girlfriend. Give a good sense of your physical shape by showing your body and not hiding behind bulky clothes. If you don’t show your body, couples will fear you are too obese to last for a long sexy play session. Or they’ll think you lack confidence, which is the opposite of sexy. Make sure to share multiple pictures from different situations to show you aren’t a fake profile using a single stolen picture.

Read the entire profile TWICE before texting ONCE.

Remember we don’t want to waste anyone’s time and we want to demonstrate you can be a really good teammate who can be trusted. So thoroughly read their profile. This way you can make sure you will be a good match for them and can introduce yourself with a much more attractive message by referring to the things they like in their profile.

Show respect to everyone including men.

When you are emailing or texting with a couple, you are probably talking with the man most of the time. Make sure you are friendly & respectful to him. He is looking for a teammate, not competition. Remember that swinging is different from cuckolding so make sure you act accordingly. You want to use your best swinger etiquette as a single man.

Work together.

Don’t ask the wife or girlfriend to meet up separately. Assume they will arrive for the first meeting as a couple and leave as a couple. If they are open to solo dates, they will let the single man know. Couples will steer clear from any hint of drama or headaches. Single men need to remember they are only a bonus to the swinger couple’s great relationship, they are not a replacement.



Source: https://swingershelp.com/single-men-mistakes/

How To Lick Her The RIGHT Way

Why You’re Probably Licking Her Clitoris The WRONG Way

Most women respond well to clitoral stimulation outside the clitoral hood. The clitoris is often much too sensitive to handle direct stimulation. Many guys, however, go gung ho right on her clitoris itself, which can be really uncomfortable!

An outside approach works best – after all, the protection of the clitoral head is exactly what the hood was designed to do. There’s no need to go digging around underneath the clitoral hood with your tongue to find the head – this will only cause extreme discomfort and in some cases, even pain.

Don’t forget, however, that you must also develop a rhythm and keep it, especially close to orgasm. Keeping that in mind, let’s go over some of the correct tongue techniques in more detail.

Sweeping Your Tongue Across The Clitoris

This move is great! It simply feels wonderful to a woman and should be a staple of any oral sex routine. It is a fairly easy move – position your tongue on either the right or left side of the clitoris and move from side to side as though you were sweeping a floor.

Clitoral Circles

This too is one of the best and most pleasurable clitoral techniques in cunnilingus. You’ll want to use this one a lot, because it can rarely get boring! The technique is somewhat self-explanatory – again, you’ll position your tongue either to the left or right of your partner’s clitoris. You will begin to move your tongue in circles, either in a clockwise or counter-clockwise motion.

This feels excellent when your partner is fairly aroused because it gives the clitoris plenty of stimulation outside the hood where it is well-received, but once your tongue gets to the 6:00 position on the “clock,” she will get a lovely preview of your tongue on her sensitive clitoral head – but not so much that it is uncomfortable.

Light Suction On The Clitoris

This is a move that is best performed when your partner is sufficiently aroused. Suction too early in the game may turn her off completely by putting too much pressure on her sensitive parts too soon.

You’ll want to take her clitoris gently into your mouth and lightly suck on it – much as though you were drinking from a straw. Remember; don’t get too rough with this move! This can be easy to do, so it is very important that you pay attention to your partner’s cues and movements. If she seems to be shrinking away before her orgasm, lighten up on the suction or discontinue sucking at all.

Remember Your ABC’s

You might have heard of this oral sex technique before, but then again, you might have not. This may quite possibly be the best technique out there, so listen up!

It may sound funny, but you’ll once again position your tongue (a pointed one works best here) either to the side or at the top of her clitoris and begin using your tongue to draw your ABC’s. Yes, you heard right.

This gives your partner a clitoral sensation similar to that of the circular stroke (most of the movement is performed outside of the clitoral hood while just a few strokes end up contacting the clitoral head itself) and simply feels divine to your partner. But wait a second!

If the sensations are really all that similar to the circular strokes, why even do the ABC strokes at all? Well, there’s the money question. The ABC stroke is as powerful as it is because it gives just the right amount of contact to both the clitoral hood and the clitoral head while mixing things up. You get the best of all the worlds – perfect contact, an excellent rhythm but here’s the rub – no two strokes are exactly the same. The different letters that you’ll be tracing with your tongue allow for enough variation to keep your partner guessing and on the edge – of orgasm! Very few men with sufficiently warmed up partners have made it all the way to the letter Z.

The Messy Eater

This is a tricky one, although it may not sound like it at first.

Basically, this move encompasses all the other techniques (such as tongue circles or gentle vacuum suction) but in somewhat of a “smorgasbord” fashion. You’ll want to use an oral sex position where you cradle both legs in your arms (her thigh will be in the crease of your elbow and your hands should come up around and rest on her hip bones) and…well, dig in!

This is a move where attitude really pays off – you’ve got to act like you’re hungry and you just can’t get enough of it. On the same token, however, you’ve still got to keep in mind that the clitoris is very sensitive and although you may be going at it like you’re at a pie-eating contest, you don’t want to go caveman on her and rough her up. Keeping a balance between the two is really what makes this move worthwhile.


Source: https://loveandsexanswers.com/how-to-lick-the-clitoris-the-right-way/

The Secrets to Squirting

Written by SexWithEmily.com

Ahhhh, squirting. The holy grail of female pleasure. The myth, the legend, the bed sheets!

Now whether or not you’ve squirted, you might be a little confused as to what exactly it is. Is it pee? Is it ejaculate? Perhaps a little super soaker some pornstars hide in their vagina? Truth be told, as with many aspects of vaginal health, there’s a lot of conflicting information about this aquatic phenomenon.

Today we’re going to set the record straight with this comprehensive guide to squirting. So, put on something waterproof, because we’re about to get wet and wild!


While there’s limited research on squirting, there seems to be one thing most experts agree on: While squirting involves your bladder emptying, it also includes form of ejaculation. That’s right, people who do not have penises CAN ejaculate. That’s because ejaculation means that fluid (not limited to sperm) has been expelled from the urethra, as a result of sexual arousal.

Now what exactly what the fluid that’s expelled during squirting is composed of is hotly debated. Some researchers argue that it’s all urine, others claim that it’s “female ejaculate” a sweet smelling, milky looking substance that used to be called “the nectar of the gods” in ancient India.

According to Healthline, female ejaculates contains some of the same components as semen: prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase. But it also contains small amounts of creatinine and urea, urine’s primary components. So, what seems to be the most plausible from all the (limited) research available is a little bit of all of the above. When you squirt it’s some urine mixed with a little prostate enzymes from “female ejaculate”.



Now you may be wondering: how can a vagina ejaculate? And why doesn’t my vagina seem to be able to ejaculate? Well it may have to do with the Skene’s gland.

While the Skene’s gland was discovered in the 1800s, there isn’t a ton of research that’s been conducted around it. The Skene gland is located on the upper wall of the vagina, and drains into the urethra. This may be why squirting is so commonly miscategorized as urine, as the research we do have says that the Skene’s gland can release fluid through small openings in the urethra. While the Skene’s gland is commonly called “the female prostate” (because of evidence that it can release prostate enzymes) it seems to be less common than the male prostate. That’s right: it seems that the Skene’s gland is not present in every vagina. This may explain why some people with vagina’s can’t squirt and some simply can’t help it! It all comes down to the size of your Skene’s gland.



Not at all! In a recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 69.23% of participants had experienced squirting, or “ejaculation” during orgasm! Also: research shows that squirting can vary widely from person to person. According to another recent study on squirting, the amount of ejaculate released can range from a fraction of a teaspoon, to more than half a cup! It also concluded that most women who ejaculate do so on a regular basis, and that it has positive effects on their sex lives. So if you can, squirt without shame! Your partner will thank you later.



Learning to squirt is tricky. It comes naturally to some, and is anatomically unavailable to others, so give yourself a break if you’re not gushing waterfalls every time you get off. Conventional wisdom says that using a g-spot stimulator at the same time as clitoral stimulation, and a lot of patience, may get the job done, That’s because your g-spot is actually anatomically next to your Skene’s gland, if you do have it. So stimulating your Skene’s gland, and your clitoral system at the same time, seems to be the key to orgasmically squirting, but there’s no formula for instant water gun action down there.

Much like any sexual feat, squirting is more about the journey than the destination. Because of the lack of research into squirting, it may not be a one size fits all experience. You may have to try, and try again and again and again to achieve your desired waterfall. And, you may never succeed. That’s okay. If the worst thing that happens is that you get to have a lot of sex and experience tons of pleasure every time you go in search of that holy (wet) grail, then I for one think it’s a goal worth working towards.


Source: http://sexwithemily.com/secrets-to-squirting/#more-30268