How To Get A Threesome

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Threesomes are pretty much everywhere. Music, movies and television have been saturated with threesome fantasies and group sex, making having an actual threesome seem more taboo and even more sensual than it ever has before. Western society believes that if one thing is good (i.e. a sex partner) then more of that same thing is even better, therefore threesomes have quite the reputation as the “holy grail” of sex.

It’s most men’s biggest fantasy – 2 girls at once! But how do you make your threesome fantasy a reality? First, you have to get your partner on board. Here are some tips to help your wife or girlfriend be OK with and even want a threesome as much as you do!

Make It Her Fantasy

You will never get anywhere with your partner if a threesome is your idea. She may begrudgingly agree to this to make you happy, but it will do nothing but turn this fantasy into emotional warfare between you and your partner. It may even end your relationship. So the most crucial thing you can do before you have a threesome is to make sure the threesome is something that she wants. How can you do that?

  • Watch adult films with her – and we don’t mean “porn.” Most porn is not something that is going to turn a woman on, at all. It can even be derogatory and turn her off of having a threesome altogether. Find a film that is more sensual and erotic, especially one that paints a threesome in a nice light and emphasizes how pleasurable having a threesome can be for the women involved. You can also try erotic literature. Many women respond better to erotic literature than they do visuals because they enjoy using their imaginations more than having simple visual stimulation.
  • Roleplay. Talk about having a threesome with your partner, and have a threesome roleplay session with a toy. Use your imagination to kind of bring the threesome idea into the bedroom, and playing pretend can sometimes be just as fun as the actual threesome itself!

The First Time Is About Her

When you finally do have the opportunity to have a threesome with your partner, don’t focus so much on yourself the first time. You may be super excited to finally be acting out your ultimate fantasy, but this often leaves the partner feeling like the “third wheel” which can be absolutely detrimental to your relationship! Make absolutely sure that the first time is all about her and she feels like the threesome is you and another girl pleasuring her and not you getting pleasured by another girl while she watches. Make her the star of the show this time and you’ll most likely have another chance to enjoy yourself in a threesome. If she feels like a third wheel, or feels like you are paying too much attention to the other girl the first time, you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll never be having a threesome with her ever again.

Make Sure Your Partner Knows You Want Her

After a threesome, communicate with your partner how much you love her and cherish her. Make sure she feels that you are attracted to her and value her above all others. Ask her how she felt about the threesome and ask her if there’s anything she would have done differently or would like to try in the future. Give her a say in it and make her feel loved and you have a much better chance of a repeat threesome.



The Do’s and Don’ts of Anal

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Happy Anal August everyone! As the days again begin to get shorter, it can feel like time for change! Whether that’s going back to school, getting a new haircut, or diving into something new sexually. For a lot of people, that something sexually new can be a first-time entry into the backdoor.

So after you have thoroughly washed your backdoor and prepared yourself mentally, let’s get to the fun stuff and break down the dos and don’ts of anal!

DO Be Chill and Understanding

When you’re havin’ fun in the bum, accidents can happen. Sometimes it’s a surprise toot. Sometimes it’s a little bit more than that. But no matter how many slip ups you have, you and your partner are still being vulnerable and intimate together. If your partner is the recipient, know that you might be a part of clean up crew, and don’t give them a chance to be embarrassed! Reassure each other that everything’s okay, and that everything’s chill.

DON’T Shame Your Partner

Anal is an intimate activity. It takes trust and vulnerability to engage in.  There’s a lot of stigma and societal pressure around being pleasured anally. Making your partner feel insecure about it will be the end of it, and it’s also just not very nice. Start with some backdoor foreplay, use encouraging language and never shame your partner. Emotional and mental lubrication is just as important as the physical stuff.

DO Research Your Lube

Now that you know you’re not going in dry, put in a little effort into finding the perfect lube. All lubricants are not created equal, and I would caution you to stay away from your average petroleum jelly or drug store brands. Every person’s body reacts to different products. The key to a healthy and enjoyable anal sex adventure is preparation and experimentation. Our official lube of Anal August is Pjur Backdoor. It’s a silicone-based lube that’s super silky and contains jojoba which relaxes muscles for maximum pleasure.

DON’T Have A Dry Run

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go in dry. I know you’ve probably seen a lot of porn where the person diving in just uses a dribble of spit and then they’re off to the races. Buttholes don’t create their own lubrication like a mouth or a vagina does.  Plus the anal entryway is like a donut of muscle. Just like a cold rubber band, if you pull too hard at first before warming it up, it can snap, crackle or pop. A torn backside is painful. Go slow and start with fingers first, then when you’re ready and lubed up, graduate to bigger things.

DO Maximize the P-Spot

And here we are at the reason for the season – the prostate. For all peoples, the nerve endings in the anus are rife for pleasure. There is another step in this pleasure process though, and that is the prostate. Massaging the prostate not only creates more powerful orgasms, but it can also lead to a different and more intense type of pleasure. If your partner can’t handle an entire member, maybe start with a smaller butt plug, vibrator, or dildo. Or use your finger to digitally stimulate that sweet sweet spot.

DON’T Rock Too Hard

Once you’re in, do NOT do what you see in porn which is immediately starting to jackhammer. The backdoor has an incredible amount of nerve endings that may be like ‘what are you doing here??’ at first. Go slow. Let your partner get acclimated to the space. If they say stop or go slow, listening to their needs. Respect your partner’s boundaries. Even if you don’t make it all the way to take off, at least you got to walk around the airport for a bit.

DO Communicate and Get Consent

Some people love surprises –  a birthday, a spontaneous vacation, a new puppy. The last DO is also kind of a DON’T. You want to make sure that you are communicating constantly and that consent is clear on both sides. This means do NOT surprise your partner with anal. Don’t think just because you’ve done it before means it’s open season on the backyard. Anal should always be consented to before you pop the turkey in the oven unless you have discussed that spontaneity beforehand.