Written by Amanda Kohr on SexWithEmily.com

Let’s talk about penises. As you probably know, penises are incredibly vulnerable to sensation—for better or worse. We’re focusing on the “better” as we share 10 penis sex tips designed to make your partner’s (or your own) nether regions feel amazing.

Keep in mind that this list is by no means comprehensive, nor will every tip work for every penis. The trick is to find ideas that work for you and the penis-owner in your life. And when trying new things, remember to ask for consent and check-in with your partner as you explore together.

Now then…who’s ready to play?

1. Play with penis rings.

It’s a common misconception that toys are purely for vulva-owners. I have good news for you: there are tons of toys out there, specifically designed for penis play. A nice entry-level option is the penis ring. When placed at the base of the penis, it applies pressure to the surrounding area, causing the blood vessels to constrict or tighten. This allows blood flow to leave the penis more slowly, AKA—longer and harder erections. (Oh, boy!)

There are even some penis rings out there that come with a “vibration” element, which can provide an added dose of pleasure for both the wearer and a vulva-owning partner. We’re especially fond of the Mio from Je Joue. the unique motor creates ultra-low-frequency vibrations, which feel like they travel further into the body than those from some other “buzzy” vibrating toys.

2. Practice edging.

It’s not unusual for penis-owners to occasionally experience bouts of “finishing too quickly,” or premature ejaculation. But—and this is a big but—there are things you can do to elongate playtime.

One way to keep the sexy times going is to practice edging. While playing with a penis, get your partner close to finishing—but don’t go all the way. Think of it as a 1-10 scale: if 10 is explosive orgasm, and 1 is asleep, you want to take them to a 7 or 8 level, then bring them back down to a 4 or 5…only to rev them back up again, to another tantalizing edge.

Keep this up for as long as they can handle it. Not only does it make the final finish that much hotter, but it can also help increase your partner’s stamina.

3. Utilize a delay spray.

Another idea is to bring in reinforcements, because listen – penises are sensitive, and that’s ok. But by applying a topical “delay spray,” penis-owners develop more control over their orgasms and aren’t so at the mercy of their nervous system. Here’s the deal: the penis is full of nerve endings (fun!), especially at the top where the glans and the frenulum are located. When the spray is applied to the penis, it helps those nerve endings be a little less reactive. One popular option is Promescent’s Delay Spray, which is absorbed into the nerve cells just below the skin, and basically slows down how quickly your nerve endings tell your body to orgasm. More fun for everyone!

4. Take away their hands.

Have you ever heard the phrase “forced receiving”? Despite the name, it’s a consensual act (very important), where you restrain your partner so that you can take your sweet time pleasuring them—and, it’s one of our favorite penis sex tips.

This can be especially electric if the penis owner in your life is more often the “dominant” one in bed — but when you force your partner (literally, because of the restraints) to receive, you’re giving them delicious physical sensations…while enjoying your position of power. (And hey, chances are, it’s hot for them to experience submission.)

To restrain your partner, you can use something around the house (like a bathrobe tie), or you can invest in some legit bondage tools. Beginners might consider bondage tape from Good Vibrations. It only sticks to itself, so it’s an easy and safe way to make sure your partner stays nice and restrained. More advanced folks might like to explore SportSheet’s Under-the-Bed Restraint Systems. It turns any bed into a bondage playground, and has loops for your partner’s arms and legs. They won’t be going anywhere.

Psst. For an added bonus, Good Vibrations is offering 20% off all purchases now through August 31. Affordable and erotic!

5. Bring in the booty.

Not all penis-owners like things in their butt, but many do! Because penis owners have prostates, their anuses are filled with sensitive nerve endings, making it a fun place to explore (if both parties are consenting.) This can be done with a finger or a toy—just make sure you use lots of lube and follow the anal play essentials.

If butt stuff isn’t for you and your partner, there are still other ways to get your partner’s booty in the game. The next time you’re in missionary, grab your partner’s butt cheeks and pull them in deeper. Almost everyone wants to feel wanted (especially during sex) and grabbing your partner’s butt is a way to say, “I want all of you.”

6. Explore other erogenous zones.

Speaking of the butt, don’t forget about your partner’s myriad other erogenous zones! Often when we’re pleasuring a penis, we go straight for the shaft—which is totally fine, but there are so many other parts of the body that deserve attention. Some penis-owners love having their inner thighs teased, while others love their nipples toyed with right before orgasm. Some might like to be blindfolded and enjoy the anticipation of where your hand or mouth might travel on their body.

Remember that everyone has different erogenous zones. You can ask your partner what they like, or experiment, to learn how they respond.

7. Have a ball.

Now that we’re talking erogenous zones, let’s talk testicles. For many penis-owners, these are highly sensitive, highly pleasurable parts to play with — but, it’s not always intuitive how to approach them. Here’s a short menu of ideas to try:

Cup them, and move your hands over them gently
Blow on them, while providing oral sex
Lick each softly, possibly sucking one into your mouth
The keyword here is “gentle,” as going at them too aggressively—or, twisting—can be super painful, even resulting in injury. As long as you’re checking in, and trying out one or each of these ideas slowly, these oft-neglected penis companions can yield tons of pleasure.

8. Turn up (or turn down) the heat.

Temperature play is a great way to bring some diversity to your sex game, awaken new sensations, and make the whole encounter more surprising (in a good way).

The next time you go down on your partner, try sipping on some hot water or tea right before getting started. Alternatively, you can suck on some ice and bring cooler sensations into the bedroom. Temperature play also isn’t limited to the genitals—trace an ice cube across your partner’s body, or use a hot wax massage candle. Remember: there’s no right or wrong here (unless your heat methods are scalding, so be safe). You’re simply giving your partner’s penis novel feelings to enjoy, which can heighten overall excitement.

9. Make oral into dessert with flavored lube.

For some folks, flavored lube triggers memories of shady sex shops or overly-sweet oral sex experiences. But trust us when we say that’s not the case for all flavored lubes. In fact, these days, some are downright delicious—and make for an incredible penis sex tip.

Like anything in life, you’ve got to go for quality products in order to yield maximum success. Take System Jo for example; one of our go-to sexual accessories, System Jo’s lubes actually taste good. (Like, we might want to put them on ice cream, they taste so good.) Flavors include everything from Tiramisu to Creme Brulee to Mint Chocolate Chip, and they seriously taste just like the sweet treats they’re trying to replicate. Simply slather it on, and enjoy a dessert that’s yummy for both of you. Just remember that flavored lube is only intended for oral, so to keep things easy-breezy and infection-free, leave it out of any orifices.

10. Give them a show.

From tactile to taste, we’ve discussed lots of sensory methods for penis sex tips. Now, let’s focus on the visuals.

Mutual masturbation is a psychologically hot way to turn on a penis-owner, even if it seems – at first – somewhat indirect. Why? Because watching a partner touch themselves is both super intimate, and, a way for each of you to show off your inner voyeur (and exhibitionist).

We also love role play, as it allows each of you to dabble with power… but also? As far as visuals go, role play is a nice excuse to dress up. Just remember that role play is a spectrum, and you don’t have to jump into furry territory right off the bat. If role play is new for you, ask the penis owner in your life what would excite them to see — even if it’s just a suggestive pair of stockings.

That should be enough to get you started. Now go have fun with your favorite penis-owner. (And share this with a friend who might enjoy learning some new tips.)

 

Source: https://sexwithemily.com/10-super-hot-ways-to-pleasure-a-penis/

Written by Tolly Moseley on SexWithEmily.com

If there’s any sexual activity that’s gotten way, way more popular in the past few years, it’s ye olde friends with benefits. That’s not just my opinion: it’s research. And while that’s great news for anyone interested in alternative relationship configurations, the friends with benefits setup does require some solid interpersonal skills — if you’d like to avoid drama.

When you’re a pacifist, pleasure-loving individual, who’d also very much enjoy a friends with benefits arrangement, not to worry. Justin Lehmiller has some research-backed pointers on FWB’s and what makes them successful, on everything from initiation to maintenance. (We interviewed him on that very subject.) So here are six steps to pursuing one, without undue tears/angry texts/general malaise. Right this way for benefits—the friendly, sexy kind.

Step 1: Be selective.

If you’d like to initiate a friends with benefits dynamic, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to be picky. Just because it’s not an “official” relationship doesn’t mean you have to throw standards out the window, so when assessing potential candidates, here are three things to think about:

• Am I attracted to them?
• Are they a good communicator? (More on that in a moment)
• Are the circumstances conducive to this?

The first one should be easy to assess, the second we’ll cover more in-depth. But the third question is crucial, because the best candidate will likely be someone who already occupies some healthy distance in your life. A family friend? Yeah, that’s asking for a weird Thanksgiving. Your coworker? Maybe, but then again…could go south, fast. The yogi you met at the gym who’s sexy as hell, but not someone you’d want to pursue a serious relationship with? Now you’re talking.

Step 2: Set the ground rules.

Justin says that in his research, the FWB’s who are most successful prioritize communication, and get that piece down first. Mutual attraction is the easy part, folks! What you’re really looking for is someone who can answer the following questions:

• What are you looking to get out of this?
• Are you OK with the things I want from this?
• Is there anything off-limits? Sexual activities, couple-y behaviors, etc?

If you can navigate this conversation, and find the other person to be mature and realistic in doing so, then congratulations: you may have just found yourself a playmate! But a word of caution here — it’s a lot easier to do this with someone who wants the same things you do, rather than convincing someone to try it.

So be aware that in the initial communication, you should be clear that this isn’t a trial period for an actual relationship, or an on-ramp to something more serious. Don’t be a smooth talker; be frank, honest, and a good listener. That will help both parties make a wise decision.

Step 3: Have sex…safely.

You’re doing it: you’re accruing “benefits!” Yay you. But even if emotional expectations have been managed, your fertility and STI status are just as serious. So while this one is (hopefully) obvious, give your FWB arrangement some standard protocols:

• Use contraception, and communicate about it openly
• Have both parties get tested in advance of play time
• Create a communication policy around outside partners and STI status

These rules will not only keep things drama-free, but will also help keep your communication skills in check. Which brings me to:

Step 4: Think through attachment.

Let’s turn the focus to you for a moment, dear FWB-er.

When you’ve found someone who’s down with boundaries and ground rules, that’s awesome. You’re letting them know what’s what, and doing a lot of important legwork on the front end. Great! But you’ve also got your own heart in the mix, so it’s smart to reflect on your attachment style.

Once you start touching this person, your brain’s feel-good chemicals are going to explode a bit—and this is to be expected. This is why communication is so important, so you can verbalize what you need to keep things copacetic. If you tend toward anxious attachment, some uncomfortable emotions may come up that you didn’t expect, and you could find yourself getting worried or jealous. On the flip side, if you tend toward avoidant attachment style, you could overlook check-ins with this person, who, after all, is still your friend.

If attachment styles are new to you, there are lots of quizzes on the internet to find out where you stand, and a growing number of books to help you explore the concept more deeply.

Step 5: Be a good friend.

We’ve talked a lot about sex; let’s turn to the friendship part.

Justin says that in his year-long study of FWB’s, the outcomes were pretty evenly split. Some went back to being platonic, some shifted into romantic relationships, and some ended both the friendship and the benefits in an acrimonious fashion. The fourth group remained happily FWB-status though, and again, the biggest difference was clear: they had great communication.

So in the maintenance phase of your friends with benefits relationship, don’t neglect the friend part. And by that I mean, are you being kind and decent? Are you avoiding relationship status confusion, by making conscious choices? Casual convos and even hangouts are great, but introducing them to your family could be overstepping an intimacy boundary. You know: the one you went to ends to create.

In that spirit, you might want to consider one potentially sticky issue, and that is: are the two of you allowed to discuss outside partners?

Just like you would with a platonic friend, it should probably be OK to discuss this stuff. If not – that could be a red flag, so back up and return to your agreements if they (or you) begin to display signs of jealousy.

Step 6: Expect evolution.

That brings me to my final point: the only constant in life is change, and I promise, your friends with benefits arrangement will.

Just as in Justin’s study, you might revert to friendship, you might switch gears and become romantic, or you may go your separate ways. During your initial set-up and your check-ins, here are some things to think about as the relationship (naturally) evolves:

• Do we want to spend the night?
• How frequently do we want to have sex?
• What happens if one of us gets involved with a monogamous partner?

These are just a handful of the things to think about as you and your friend travel to Sexy Town together, and all require a lot of maturity to navigate. But if you’re reading this article, chances are you’re already a considerate person. If you remain communicative and open to change, then you very well could forge a special connection that defies societal boxes and, is incredibly fulfilling for both of you.

 

Source: https://sexwithemily.com/the-guide-to-a-successful-friends-with-benefits-relationship/