6 Tips for Single Males Going to a Swingers Club

1. Don’t be creepy.

You might chuckle at this, but it’s necessary to say. Don’t follow a couple around or make sexual comments to ladies walking past you. This can be translated as “creepy” even at a swingers club.

2. Ask first!

Just because you’re at a swingers club doesn’t mean that everyone is going to want to have sex with you. The number one thing to remember at any swingers club is that communication is important! You should always ask before touching or watching a couple play.

3. Don’t lead with sex.

If you approach a couple just to show off your “junk” or lead with sexual suggestions, your success rate will be low. Couples want to have a conversation first. Start with some small talk. “Is this your first time here?” “I’ve never done this before. I’m a little nervous.” “How long have you been in the lifestyle?” Some honest communication will go a long way. Take a look at some tips on picking up another couple.

4. Include both of them.

Though you may only have interest in the woman, be sure to include both of them in the conversation. Don’t wait until her partner goes to the bathroom to make your approach. You want to be respectful of them as a pair. If he is feeling ignored by you, the chances are that you aren’t going to get to play with either of them.

5. Dress to impress.

When you attend an upscale swingers club as a single male, you need to go all out! Pull out that tailored suit and your nice shoes. Be the guy they can’t wait to approach. Don’t forget to get a haircut, brush your teeth, and shower! Would you want to play with you? Most upscale swingers clubs have a dress code that you should abide by.

6. Do your research.

Before attending any swingers club for the first time, be sure to check out their website. You should review the club’s swinging guidelines such as their rules, expected etiquette, and dress code. You should also review the nightly fees and find out whether or not single males are welcome on the night you plan to attend. You may also want to check out what events are coming up so that you can participate in the theme for the night (if applicable for single males).

Good luck and happy swinging!

Deciding Personal Swinging Rules

Written by SwingersHelp.com. Visit SwingersHelp.com to read the full article.

Each couple in the lifestyle makes different rules to protect their relationship.  These rules will often evolve over time to better match what works for their relationship. Some swingers may not like your rules or you might not like their rules. That is totally ok. We all respect each other and know that our own relationship takes priority over any swinging connections.

At the end of these temporary swinging encounters, we’re all going home with our own significant other. No one wants to drive home unhappy, screaming about what did or didn’t happen during playtime. Play it safe, follow the rules, and only go as fast as the slowest person in the group. Don’t pressure anyone to break or bend their rules.

Here are some sample personal rules to talk over with your partner to see if you want to follow them or not.

No “Taking One For the Team”?

This means that neither of you will play if either of you isn’t attracted to their play partner (or just doesn’t feel like playing). No one is going to suffer through something they don’t enjoy just so their partner can have a good time. You should try to learn what each of you likes in a play partner, and figure out some way to communicate whether it’s a no-go or full speed ahead. Using codewords or signals can be helpful.

No Kissing?

This is a common rule for first timers, who often drop it quickly once their comfort level rises. If you are a first timer and it makes you feel more comfortable, use this rule. Many people find it hard not to kiss during sexy time, so they may decline to play with you – but that’s their loss!

No Full Swap (No Penetration)?

Another very common rule. Some couples prefer to only engage in soft swap. Kissing, caressing, groping and oral – all of which are very hot – is what they want. Many lifestyle beginners start this way and some veteran full swappers migrate to this rule over time. It can help defuse emotional issues, ease STI worries, and remove a lot of the stress and performance anxiety that come with full swap.

Same Room vs Separate Room Play?

Earlier, we chatted about same room vs separate room play. There are pros and cons for each, and you can decide for yourself what’s really a pro and what’s a con. You should talk with your partner to figure out what is comfortable for both of you. Some couples are ok with separate play dates, others are only comfortable with the girls playing separately with each other, and still others want everyone involved together at all times. There are lots of possible arrangements, so figure out what you both want. Be ready to change this rule – and any other rules on the list – over time; people evolve, relationships evolve, and feelings evolve. Your rules should evolve, too.

No Anal?

Anal play is much more common in the lifestyle than in the vanilla world because swingers know how to tenderly take advantage of those sensitive nerve endings. There are some truly talented swingers who know just the right way to engage in finger play or anal sex. If your partner has some big male anatomy you might not have liked it in the past, but in the lifestyle you might find some men with just the right sized equipment for you to enjoy it.  You might not be ready for this or want to reserve it for your special partner.  As always the choice is yours.

No Repeats?

Some couples won’t repeat play with the same couple within a certain timeframe (one month, six months, a year, whatever) to avoid any emotional connections. This helps keep swinging confined to physical enjoyment and away from your personal emotional relationship. Other swingers like this rule so they can enjoy more sexually variety in life. You can adjust this rule to fit your liking.



Source: https://swingershelp.com/personal-rules/

15 Types of Sexuality and Attraction

Written by SexWithEmily.com

It’s 2022, and in our brave new world of sex positivity, perhaps you’ve run across some terms you aren’t familiar with. Demisexual, for example. Pansexual. Heteroflexible. We’ve really expanded our vocabulary to talk about desire, but perhaps you’re nervous to use these words because you don’t know what they mean. If that’s the case, I have good news for you, because you’re about to learn them.

Knowing your desire style (and the words that go along with them) has massive benefits, because no matter who you are, your sexuality is nuanced. You date better, manage a relationship better, and certainly enjoy better sex when you’ve got a deeper understanding of yourself and others. Plus, when you see yourself in a category of sexuality, a light switch turns on. “Oh,” you begin to think, “so that’s why that person is so sexy to me.”

When we learn about the desire style, we take it in mentally – but these words often download into our emotional core, giving us a more precise picture of why we are the way we are. So without further ado, here is your sexuality glossary, with special thanks to the Human Rights Campaign and Healthline for their resources. And, while sexuality is ever-evolving and growing in our culture, these are contemporary terms you can start using today.

When you think about your desire style, which of the below definitions resonate with you?


When you don’t experience sexual attraction to others of any gender. But, you could experience romantic attraction and affectionate feelings, minus the sex part.


When you’re interested in exploring bisexuality, especially if you’ve previously identified as being attracted to one gender only.


Sexual attraction to more than one gender.


When you need an emotional connection with someone, before feeling sexual towards them.


The idea that sexuality, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior can change over time, and be dependent on your situation or surroundings. You may hear someone describe their sexuality as “fluid,” and speaking of which, fun fact: between 2011 and 2019, college-age women increasingly moved away from exclusive heterosexuality.


Someone who’s “mostly straight,” but occasionally attracted to people of the same gender.


Straight, no chaser. You identify as a woman and are attracted to folks who identify as men, and vice versa.


Sexual attraction regardless of gender. If you’re scratching your head going, “isn’t that the same thing as being bi?” notice the subtle wording: bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender, while pansexual people are attracted regardless of gender. That doesn’t mean they’re attracted to everybody, however (just like a heterosexual male isn’t attracted to all women) – more that for a pansexual person, gender assignment figures in less heavily to their overall desire patterns.


When intelligence is a turn-on for you.


When you’re attracted to people who are non-binary in their gender.


So those are 10 useful sexuality terms to add to your vocabulary. Now, let’s look at 5 different types of attraction:


Emotional Attraction

The desire to be emotionally present with another person. But it’s not necessarily physical in nature – rather, emotional attraction is a desire to connect with someone, based on their heart, mind, or personality.

Romantic Attraction 

The desire for a romantic connection with someone, even if it’s not a physical or sexual connection that you crave.

Sexual Attraction 

When you wanna have sex bb! This is the type of attraction many of us are familiar with when we desire physical intimacy or sexual contact with a certain someone.

Physical Attraction

The desire to be around others, to be physically cared for and treated with love and affection. This describes the desire for touch or to receive touch, but not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way. Think cuddle parties, or giving and receiving hugs.

Aesthetic Attraction

When you admire someone’s appearance, without the desire to have physical, romantic or sexual contact with them.

So there you have it! Just like pleasure, identity is for everyone – and when we understand ourselves as people with unique sexual blueprints, it’s easier to design the sex lives we want. All we need are the words to speak our truth, and useful terms to help us see others – and ourselves – more clearly.


Source: https://sexwithemily.com/15-types-of-sexuality-and-attraction-to-help-you-understand-your-desire-style/