Written by SexWithEmily.com
During this pandemic, people are picking up new skills left and right. We’re learning how to cook, painting our walls, finding new hobbies that we didn’t have time for before lockdown. Finding joy even in little moments is important right now. Making pleasure for ourselves is key.
Studies show that pleasure can be a stress buffer. In other words, people who are under higher stress tend to be healthier and have lower mortality rates if they incorporate pleasure into their lives.
We experience pleasure through the body, so it’s natural to look for things that you can do with your body to increase the amount of pleasure you experience. The number one thing you can do with or without a partner to bring more pleasure through your body is…yep…orgasm.
Now, I know lots of people are out there trying to help you orgasm better, but I have found some different techniques that are unique and might help you climax even faster and harder! Here are some tips I learned from my own pandemic pleasure practice.
BODY TO BRAIN, NOT BRAIN TO BODY
Before I get into some simple steps to help you cum harder, I want to go over a misconception I had for years about the orgasm. I mistakenly believed that any inability or difficulty to come to orgasm was a problem to be solved only in my head.
As a female-bodied person, I am constantly told things like “relax!”, or “think erotic thoughts” or “find ways to feel sexy and turned on.” Most of these things utilize the mind to elicit a response in the body. But, women are already in their heads a ton. And some men with ED are told the same thing.
Then I came across “The O Man,” dubbed as the “San Fernando Valley Orgasm Whisperer.” I was intrigued by his technique, which was completely different than anything I had seen on orgasm. I discovered that my body had the answer, not just my mind. The O Man, through his experience as a personal trainer, discovered that there were certain positions and movements he would have clients do that helped them orgasm faster and deeper.
Suffice it to say, his technique worked: I went from never orgasming during penetrative sex to being multi-orgasmic. I went from taking 30 minutes or more to orgasm to orgasming within a minute and having upwards of 15 to 20 orgasms instead of my usual 3. Needless to say…he is a cum genius.
Physically opening up the body to having orgasms as an actual physiological response (as opposed to psychological), changed my life.
I didn’t have to “be in the mood,” which is what I always thought I needed.
KNOW YOUR BODY
Explore your body and really get to know it and how it works and what it responds to. Get to know not just your genitals but also your erogenous zones. Be curious. It will serve you well.
As stated by orgasm coach, Wendy Perkins, you must “own your o.” She says,
“We often expect our partners to know our bodies better than we do. And then if they don’t know how to please us, we’re disappointed and give up hope of having a satisfying sexual life.”
I learned from Wendy how to really explore my vagina with my fingers and get to know its inner terrain, which, in turn, helped me identify my G spot and increase my sensitivity to stimuli.
Learning how to please yourself is the best way to have a great sex life. Find out what your body likes! You can even learn to squirt during the pandemic- now that is a skill worth having!
GET ON THE FLOOR
Whaaa? What does this have to do with orgasm, you ask? Well, according to the O Man, supporting your back is one of the best ways to orgasm easier. And some mattresses just don’t cut it. Get your back flat on the floor and then go to town. The idea is to find a way to stabilize your back so that your body can orgasm faster.
Have you ever found yourself holding your breath as you masturbate? Well, that could be working against you. Connecting to your breath is one of the best ways to cum harder and faster. Try taking deep breaths before and during touching yourself. Feel your breath go down all the way to your pelvic bowl where your genitals are.
VIBE, VIBE, VIBE
Get this: a vibrator is not just for the clit! Let me repeat that: a vibrator is not just for the clit! Vibrators are made to massage. According to the O Man, using a vibrator on different areas of your body where you store tension can help you have deeper orgasms. Tight neck? Well, use a powerful vibe like the Magic Wand on it. Loosen it up with vibration and then jerk off! See what happens! (I’m willing to be that you will cum.)
You can use a vibrator on your lower back, your hips, your shoulders and even the area inside your knee to open up your body to cum better than ever!
Try a combination of vibes. For example, you can use the Womanizer, which has a suction capability, on the clit after using the Magic Wand to loosen up your hip area known as the iliacus muscle. Or if you want to find parts of your vulva you might not know hold pleasure, try the Zumio which expertly utilizes rotation for pleasure exploration. If you want to employ a toy with a partner, the We-Vibe Chorus is a banger of a couples’ vibe.
A STRONGER PELVIC FLOOR
It cannot be overemphasized that any person can benefit from a stronger pelvic floor. The benefits to orgasm are enormous. For vagina owners, one of the best ways to build up your pelvic floor muscle control is using the Yarlap. This device does your Kegels for you using electrostim technology. In fact, the creator of the Yarlap posits that the purpose behind the female orgasm is in fact to strengthen the pelvic floor. Thus, the two are related.
For fellas, or peeps without vaginas, you can also stabilize your back and increase your pelvic floor strength by using butt plugs.
There you have it! No matter where you are at in your pandemic mood, you can find some relief, some joy, and greater pleasure in cumming harder and faster. Give the gift of pleasure to yourself and/or your partner.