Written by michaelandrews on LoveAndSexAnswers.com
Swinging can be a great activity for a couple to take part in. Done the right way, it need not be damaging to your relationship at all. In fact, the consensus amongst most ‘successful’ swingers is that it actually enhances their relationship and brings them closer together.
What If Your Lover Doesn’t Like The Idea?
However, while there are thousands of happy swinging couples worldwide, there are also many people in a relationship who would like to try swinging but who have a lover who is not keen. Their attitude may be from simply not being interested to being totally negative about the idea.
If you have a wife or husband in this category, don’t despair. Your dream of being swingers need not die. Just realize that the approach you have been taking so far has not worked – so it’s time to take a new approach.
Don’t Get Angry With Your Lover
The first thing you must do is not get angry or upset with your wife or husband’s reaction if you bring up the idea of being swingers. Trying to plead with them or in any way coerce them into trying it will not only get no positive result, it could even harm your relationship.
Even if you do get them to agree to try it this way, it will probably not be a pleasant experience for you both; you certainly won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. Try not to get resentful. Instead, realize that you want to try swinger sex so that it will be fun for both of you. ‘
If you have the best of intentions than it is simply a matter of finding the right approach, the approach that works without damaging your relationship. After all your relationship is (or should be) the most important thing.
Introducing The Topic In The Right Way
When you introduce the idea of swinging, remember that your wife or husband will have beliefs about what swinging means and why you would want to try it. Does it mean you don’t find them attractive enough?Are you bored with your sex life?
These thoughts may be going through their head. In fact, they may even fear that by becoming swingers you will find someone else more attractive than them and leave them!
Removing Their Fears About It
So your whole focus in introducing swinging to your wife or husband is to remove their fears. You do this by letting them know that you love and adore them more than anyone else, and that your reason for wanting to try swinging is to enhance the sex life you already have with them.
You need to let them know that swinging is not about replacing any gaps in your relationship. It is all about adding some spice and sharing the experience together. You could even let them know that because you find them so attractive and sexy, seeing them turning someone else on would be highly arousing for them.
Also make sure that you make your wife or husband feel safe in your sexual relationship. Build up their trust in you. Let them now that you would never hurt them or allow them to be hurt in a swinging situation.
If you approach the idea of swinging with your lover in this way you not only have a much greater chance of taking part in the swinger lifestyle, but of you both enjoying it as well.