This article was written by Amanda Kohr on SexWithEmily.com. To read the full article, please visit https://sexwithemily.com/mastering-awkward-positions/
Listen: missionary is fantastic (trust), but sometimes we all want to change it up a bit. And when we do, we reach in our back pocket of sex moves and pull out our experimental material: reverse cowgirl, interesting oral, 69, shower sex…you know, easy things. Not awkward at all,
Except, those ones in particular are actually not easy. They require a little practice, a little leverage, a little positioning—with results that are, at times, less hot AF and more WTF.
That’s why I’ve compiled a “cheat sheet” of pointers for your most asked-about sex positions. From, “how do I get my rhythm right in reverse cowgirl?” to, “how do I have shower sex without slipping and breaking my jaw?” This article provides a step-by-stepof some of the more challenging sex positions and how you can rock reverse cowgirl, oral, 69, and shower sex with as much pleasure (and as little awkwardness) as possible.
Reverse Cowgirl is one of those positions that looks unbelievably hot but feels a little weird. Now let’s be clear: it’s great because 1) it provides a fantastic view of the booty, 2) the penetrating partner can place their hands on their partner’s hips, and 3) the person on top can set the rhythm. But setting the rhythm isn’t always easy, and if the person on top has a vulva, Reverse Cowgirl doesn’t necessarily provide clitoral stimulation. What’s a cowgirl to do?
To make this position fun for everyone, try this:
- Start slow. If the penetrating partner has a penis, this position asks their suspensory ligaments to stretch slightly. So once the receiving partner has turned around, straddling their partner’s legs, have them lower down gradually. Before anyone starts thrusting, start with a slow rock.
- Involve hands or a toy. In this position, the penetrating partner has an excellent opportunity to grab their partner’s hips or to prop themselves up on one elbow, and use the other hand to reach around. If you’re performing anal play and the receiving partner has a penis, you can use the freehand for digital stimulation. If the receiving partner has a vulva, the freed-up fingers can stimulate the clitoris with their fingers or a toy. Options!
- Check yourself out. While the bottom partner has an A+ shot of the butt, the view isn’t as exciting for the person on top. So how about doing it in front of a mirror? That way, the top partner can check out the action via their reflection, and PS – research shows that this is a huge turn-on for vulva owners.
- Try a seated variation. Instead of trying it on the bed, you can also practice reverse cowgirl in a chair or on the edge of a bed. In this position, the penetrating partner sits down, feet touching the floor, while the receiving partner sits on their lap, facing forward. This variation is preferable for many, because the penetrating partner is nice and close (and can use their hands to play with breasts or pecs), and if they have a penis, it’s a little easier on their ligaments…keeping things sexy and safe.
Oral Sex: Kivin Method, Facesitting and 69
Okay, oral sex isn’t necessarily a “position”—but maybe you want to simply change your oral game up a bit. Here are my top tips for making oral an unforgettable experience:
This method differs from traditional oral sex, in that the giver actually lays perpendicular to their partner, at a 90-degree angle, making a capital ‘T’ with their bodies. So instead of looking upwards at the clit, you’re looking at it sideways. Experiment with what side you approach from because most clitorises have a side that is more sensitive than the other. (Science!)
You can tackle this positioning in a few different ways. Choose what works best based on your physical comfort, as well as the receiver’s sensitivity preference. If the vulva owner enjoys being widely spread for maximum stimulation, suggest they bend their knees and pull their legs back, for more intense stimulation.
The trick with this snazzy move is that you’re licking horizontally (instead of the usual vertical direction) across the hood of the clit in a gentle up and down motion, much like you’d eat an ice cream cone. That said, try a few different variations with your tongue to hone in on exactly what your partner likes: the Kivin Method hits more nerve endings than traditional oral, so this should be a fun experiment for both of you.
When done correctly, face-sitting can be extremely pleasurable (and erotic) to the person on top. But some folks get so nervous about hurting or suffocating their partner, that they avoid it altogether. Au contraire! You can pull this off safely. Here’s how:
- Kneel into it. Rather than face-sitting, think of this position more like face-kneeling. Position yourself over your partner by straddling their chest with your knees and scoot forward until you’re in place.
- Use the headboard. You can also have your partner lie closer to a headboard (or for our exhibitionists: a window sill), so you can put your hands on it for extra support. This way, you can distribute your weight with your legs, knees, and arms.
- Play with control. If you’re the “top,” your partner can lie completely still while you do all the moving, grinding as hard or soft as you want on their face, and doing motions that feel the best for you. (The advantage being: your partner won’t strain their jaw). OR, switch roles. Try it where you’re completely still on top, while your partner goes to work…and you’re freed up to focus on the sensations. They can also use a hand to pleasure themselves at the same time, because why not? Either way, be sure to communicate and check in with your partner, to ensure everyone is comfortable.
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