Written by SwingersHelp.com. Visit SwingersHelp.com to read the full article.
Ok, you’ve either found a swinger couple online, at a meet & greet event, at a house party, or in a lifestyle club and now you want to play with them…what now? Let’s go through the common stages of swinging with another couple to get the most out of what’s bound to be an erotic and sexually freeing experience!
The Setting
You’ve invited a couple to swing so what’s the next step? Now you need to think about the setting for your playful rendezvous. This may be a swinger club, or your own cozy abode. Some couples prefer to rent a hotel room for the night to give the whole experience its own space. A hotel room can keep it separate from your daily lives – making it feel more private and more deliciously taboo.
If you’re hosting another couple whom you’ve found online at your home, this next point should go without saying: Clean up. The last thing you want to see when rolling up to a night of sexy play is a stack of dirty dishes or stinky laundry on the floor. Set the mood by providing a clean space, and set the mood further with some candles, music or dimmed lighting.
If you plan on meeting them at a swinger party or club it’s important to RSVP to ensure there will be enough space for everyone. Please make sure you’re familiar with the rules of any party or club you’re planning to attend. Sometimes you need to reserve a playroom in advance so if you know you’ll like your privacy at some point in the evening, reserve your play space as soon as possible.
If you’ve booked a hotel room, don’t assume that the other couple will pitch in for it, although that is the polite thing to do and the norm. If you’re not the couple who’s organizing the room, the correct etiquette is to offer to split the cost. If they insist, pick up the tab for dinner or the sexy cocktails. A small gift like some nice chocolates or a bottle of wine goes a long way.
Calm Before the Storm
A key piece of advice before you enter any swinging situation: Fully discuss all of the potential scenarios with your own partner so that you’re on the same page. You want to establish what you both want before the heat gets turned up and the excitement threatens to cloud your judgement.
Once you’re all together, the excitement and energy start to build… the fun is about to begin. Let’s say you’ve found a compatible couple in a lifestyle club and you and your partner are ready to hit the play button. Before you do, it’s important to cover a few basic points of communication.
You’ve probably had at least part of this discussion with the other couple prior to entering this room, but it’s good to double check the details. Will this be a full or soft swap? Are any sex acts like anal or oral not allowed? What protection is being used? And whatever other topics are important to you and your partners. The key here is to be as open as possible.
Decide whether both couples will all play in one room or split off to separate ones. This is down to preference. Some couples find it hot to keep everyone together, getting the greatest kick from sharing the whole experience with each other. Those into exhibitionism may decide to do it among a larger group of swingers at a party, and for others, it’s more about making an individual sexual connection behind closed doors and reconvening with their partner later. Some people find it difficult to concentrate on their current sexual partner when there’s lots of other action happening close by. If you are doing separate rooms, figure out how you will meet up afterwards to ensure you don’t awkwardly interrupt your partner in case they need extra time to finish.
Lastly, it’s important to remember in the “pregame” phase of the encounter, that often there is booze present at these events and having a drink or two is one way to ease anxiety and loosen some of those inhibitions. However, heavy consumption of alcohol and swinging don’t pair well. People who are heavily intoxicated are not able to give consent. Being drunk can lead to breaking rules you have established with your partner and ruin the whole experience. Not to mention the ever-present risk for men to underperform after they have had too much to drink.
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