This article was written by Amanda Kohr on SexWithEmily.com. To read the full article, please visit http://sexwithemily.com/have-good-sex-vanilla/
Let’s talk about vanilla sex. “Vanilla sex” or “vanilla” is often used to describe people whose sex lives are mainstream, plain, or boring. While kink and BDSM have been becoming more and more popular and hogging the sexual spotlight, vanilla sex is often left behind. Some people even use the term in a derogatory sense. But let me clue you in on a little secret: you don’t need to be kinky in order to have good sex. In fact, a pure vanilla experience can be one of the best flavors out there.
I say no more to this “vanilla shaming.” Don’t yuck someone’s else’s yum! Instead, focus on the reasons why vanilla is awesome.
There’s still lots of room to play.
Vanilla is actually a larger category of sex than you might think. Often, vanilla sex includes slower, loving touch, deep kissing, lots of eye contact, and romance. For some, these are key ingredients for good sex.
As one of my kinky friends puts it, “vanilla” really just refers to someone who prefers more straightforward sexual activity. Maybe this is without an overlay of extra thought, planning, or intention that kinks and fetishes do. That doesn’t mean vanilla sex can’t be just as exploratory as kink. Since vanilla tends to focus on the physical act without the psychological influence of say, BDSM, you can take advantage of those physical acts by being fully present and mindful during sex.
It’s the mac-n-cheese of sex.
I once asked one of my friends to describe vanilla sex. She described it as, “the mac-n-cheese of sex.” Some people might consider mac-n-cheese boring, but there is a reason people love comfort food. Embrace the comfort. Pull it over you like a warm blanket. Juicy, loving vanilla sex with someone you trust is as yummy as a homemade macaroni casserole. Eat it up!
Missionary is underrated.
Vanilla sex has long been connected to the “missionary” position. Yet, the standard ‘ol position of missionary can be so satisfying and sexy AF. One of the reasons missionary is so hot is the eye contact, and more eye contact often equals more intimacy. For some, this level of connection takes sex from a kindergarten level to magna cum laude (pun intended).
In addition, missionary is sometimes a desirable position for female orgasm, as it can stimulate the clitoris. And if you’ve ever experienced a clitoral orgasm, you know there’s nothing boring about that.
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