Written by SexWithEmily.com.
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Real talk: orgasms are the best. In addition to physically feeling amazing, a solid orgasm can help decrease stress, promote relaxation, and overall just leave us in a better mood. Still, like snowflakes, no orgasm is exactly like the other, and there are some magical moments where you feel as though you couldn’t have had a better orgasm.
But have you ever noticed that it’s sometimes hard to repeat those mind-blowing orgasms? Or that achieving orgasm feels really difficult, and maybe even impossible? Totally normal, but admittedly frustrating. Luckily, there are tons of ways to improve your climaxes. The first step is learning more about your body and understanding what’s going on under the (clitoral) hood. Here’s a rundown of what you can do.
Strengthen your core—and your pelvic floor.
Alright, say it with me: pubococcygeus muscle. Too early (or late) for long anatomic names? No worries. It’s the PC muscle, better known as your pelvic floor. And, if you’re human, you need to pay it some attention. No matter what parts your packing, your pelvic floor is responsible for a lot – including the strength of your orgasms. You know those awesome, uncontrollable contractions that accompany a big O? That’s your PC muscle doing its thing.
BUT, there are a ton of common factors that can lead to a weakened PC muscle – from time to childbirth to plain old inactivity. And, your sexual enjoyment can easily be the biggest victim. The good news is that you have a lot of options to take control of the situation.
Normally, this is where we’d push you to try a Kegel exercise, talking you through contracting your PC muscle like you were stopping the flow of urine. While Kegel exercises are amazing, we’ve kind of fallen in love with a much more comprehensive solution around here. It’s called P.volve, and we’re obsessed.
P.volve is an on-demand workout provider that focuses on “functional fitness”—an approach designed to work your body from the inside out. And, as you might have guessed, this includes your pelvic floor. Not only that, but P.volves’ unique brand of exercises improves flexibility and can relieve pain as well. Are you picking up what we’re laying down here? Stronger PC muscle… increased flexibility… confidence from a killer workout… that’s all gotta improve sex!
Oh yeah, and in addition to the stronger orgasms, when you’re actively working your pelvic floor, you can easily experience a natural increase in libido and sexual enjoyment. Win. Win.
And for the vulva owners among us, you can take all that up a notch with Yarlap, a discrete device that features AutoKegel technology. This uses gentle stimulation to put your PC muscle through an automatic exercise. Combine that with your physical workouts and you’ll have Kegels of steel, and orgasms of gold. Or something like that. You get it…
Meditate or focus on the breath.
Sometimes, anxieties creep up and don’t let us focus on our bodies, especially during sex. I’ve had times where my mind drifts to what I have to do for work and even the latest news—and those are definitely not sexy thoughts.
When I feel my mind drifting from my body, I try to reel it back in by focusing on my body in different ways. First, focus on your breathing and on how you can control it. Then, focus on things you can perceive with your five senses—sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. By doing so, you’re grounding your mind and body to what you’re experiencing at the present, rather than thinking of the past or future.
You can also practice sexual meditation with your partner to feel closer, increase intimacy, and yield better orgasms. Incorporate this practice by starting off with slow foreplay, focusing on each other’s breathing and keeping eye contact—which in itself is super hot. You’ll find that getting in touch with your body allows you to experience increased sensation, and that includes your climaxes.
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